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I’m back… Laying My Disgust & Shame Out There for ALL to See =\

It’s been a while since I was on  last;  I keep falling off the workout wagon, and back on and off, etc… Well, I’m back again. I have a new-found motivation!!! :)

I’ve been telling you guys how much of a fat-ass I am… Thankfully, but not happily, I was decently proportioned to have been in the 200 Club, but embarrassed as hell to have made it there. Not only embarrassed, but truly disgusted at myself. I only have the nerve to post what the scale shows, but have and will continue to take progression pix am sure I will post them when I’m more comfortable in my skin. I’m by no means happy where I am, but slow and steady can and will win the race.

I don’t have a “goal” weight, as eventually, I want to start lifting and putting on some muscle/mass/tone. Podiatrist told me to hold off on CrossFit until the tendonitis has gotten a little better but I can do the Zumba/ aerobics types of classes [damn it, but at least I can do something] –

I honestly haven’t given it “100%”, but I have been eating a lot  better and going to Zumba 3 x/week and taking 2 “alternate” classes on top of that – Bodyvive, Bodypump (at the Y) – while I am not “allowed” to do CrossFit…They also put me thru the ringer at physical therapy (tendonitis) for ah hour x2/week….

In the past month, a loss of 1.5 pounds for a weekly average isn’t all that bad. 6.2 pounds in a month x 4 months = about 25 pounds. I’ll take that. Progress is progress.

Since I’m getting over  ‘tummy trouble’ issues, (I had either food poisoning or a 48 hour bug) –  I figure it’s best to go ahead and start eating as healthy as possible now, since I’ve pretty much detoxed from anything with sugar already, & I’ve been doing either nothing or broth / clear liquids for a day… [Was also able to hold down organic broccoli/cheddar soup today! YAY!]  – I intend to start eating waay better than before and get serious with the workout  & adding more cardio to my schedule.

I’m posting a goal dress that I bought for about 6 months down the road… Of course, that isn’t me in the pic..  and a goal swimsuit for 6 months thereafter.. (Unless I find another one I like before then LoL)…

Sadly, below is  the visual proof of the skeleton in my closet. My disgust, my embarrassment… My weight problem… Hopefully, by my birthday (August) I’ll be down at least 15 more lbs. Then in a few more months starting to show some “real” progress.

I hope this embarrassment of mine, and the pix that follow in the upcoming months can and will help motivate some of you, too!! I’m hoping that for me it provides strength to move forward and keep pushing to better myself.

Loss of about 6.2 pounds  in about a month. (4/4/2013 - 5/5/2013)

Progression: 4/4-5/5/2013 ~ Down 6.2 pounds

6-month goal :)

6-month goal 🙂

My 1-year goal

My 1-year goal 🙂

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The dreaded “BEFORE” photos..(not posting yet)

b4   Ok… So I broke down and took “before” photos today… I’m totally disgusted with myself. Now I really need to get this  fat off!!! I will post progression pictures at a later date. Thinking maybe after 30 or 60 days. Unless the Mayans were correct and we’re all dead in a couple weeks.. Then I guess being disgusted at myself will be all for naught… LOL

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On the CROSSFIT wagon…

So, IDK why in the world I’ve been so totally NOT motivated… You probably could have threatened to pull out my fingernails and dip ’em in alcohol and you still couldn’t make me workout…  Yeah, I know. I’m a lazy ass, worthless, SOB, because that’s what I’ve felt like these few months.

I had been contemplating Crossfit for a few months, I had even messaged a friend of mine (Nicki), who is pretty heavy into the Crossfit thing. Pretty much I was inquiring on cost at first… Messaging friends who had trainers, comparing monthly fees… Crossfit around here averages upwards of $125.00 per month. From what I found out from friends with trainers, those vary as well… Anywhere from $30-55 per 30 minute session, 3 times per week… I’m sure if they’re “elite” trainers the price can go up from there – so at $40/session x 12 sessions a month – that’s freaking $480 per month. As an Asian, my math skills pretty much suck, so I busted out the calculator app on the phone… Yep. $480. Damn. It’s cheaper to stay fat, I thought…

So for the past few months, I’ve been budgeting and looking into Crossfit, as that seems to be the closest thing to having a personal trainer without paying per session. I knew I  wouldn’t get a gym membership. From my experience, there’s ZERO accountability there.  For the most part, nobody knows you and nobody cares what you do, how much your push yourself (or not). They really don’t care if you show up as long as thet EFT comes out every month… And from my experience, most of the trainers are “Buff Buffingtons” who are full of themselves, and not really approachable. (Note: I did say MOST, not all!)

I had even been talking to a friend from work for a few weeks about maybe doing the trainer thing…even though I had no clue where I would come up with “that kind” of cash..

Call it Fate, Kismet, Destiny, Coincidence, or whatever you want… On Thursday [12/06], I was flipping through this monthly coupon magazine called the “Money Pages” when I saw this ad, that just HAD to be a MISPRINT… *I flip through those things maybe once every few months…. IF THAT…

Lo-and-behold, there was an ad for Crossfit with a gym adjacent to the facility that recently opened.. HOLY SCHMOLEY – $65.00/month LIFETIME membership – with 24-hour access to the gym.  I thought, “Damn, I need to hop on that horse and ride it into the sunset!!”

…But wait. Yes. I was somehow intimidated. Yes. Intimidated. All I had seen were these people lifting these ungodly amounts of weight and pushups  and situps and omg! What is that they’re doing… NICKI!!!! – I sent her an email with my concerns… and she told me that everyone is encouraging and helpful & reassured me that I wouldn’t feel like a dolt.

Man, was she right. I made an appointment to see Jason, the owner. My very first impression is that he’s genuine in what he has to say, which to me, means a LOT!  He took the time to answer all my questions, address all my concerns, and never seemed like he was in a rush to get rid of me.  I went ahead and signed up that day[last Friday, 12/07], knowing that my schedule would not permit for me to go back until  yesterday [12/11].

He explained to me that he works 1-on-1 with anyone unfamiliar with Crossfit [CF] if they are unable to make the fundamentals class which is a plus!

So today, this man put my ass through the wringer. I knew I was out of shape, but my God, I never knew how out of shape I was.  He kicked my ass so hard [figuratively] that I am happy to be alive to type this… and guess who’s going back for more tomorrow?

That would be me…. (Call me crazy…but I think I’ve FINALLY found my motivation!!)

*I took measurements today. Forgot about the scale until my tummy was full, so I’ll do that in the morning.  Hope to have them up and do monthly weight/proportion updates from now on.

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In need of a mini workout at work…

Sitting here at work, with a “good” patient.  Sooo… for the time being,  I need to try doing some little mini exercises while I’m here [and actually not crazy busy  like it normally is around here]  –  I actually need to look some up.. That will be my goal on my next days off!!!  *I’m working 3 in a row so I won’t be looking much up this weekend.

Until then,  I think I will to some stuff I know like dips,  single leg mini squats & regular squats, a few side lunges,  calf raises,  some stretches, and maybe a few other random things I dream up in the process.

… If anyone has any other suggestions in the meantime… feel free  to let me know!! 🙂

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Cleanse…

I’ve been using this 14 day ‘Acai’ cleanse thing for a few days… Just so you’ll know, it’s not meant as a weight loss pill, calorie burner, or thermogenic. It’s basically a colon cleanser. There aren’t instructions regarding  a  change in your diet or anything in or on the box, and there are varied reviews on the product I’ve been using, but so far it’s worked for me, and that’s what matters. It works for me. Everybody’s system is different, and thankfully I lucked out on this one.

With that being said, I have been trying to eat a little better  – I’ve cut out all sodas and fast foods, am eating more veggies & stuff like the salmon meal I posted about the other day… and I actually feel pretty damn good. Some people say you can lose 1-5 pounds this way on the cleanse, but  I’m not into the “numbers” thing  that  much, so I haven’t weighed myself. I can tell you that I feel so much better!!

I did have a headache for a couple days; probably from cutting out all the sugars and many, many  preservatives [not all; not yet] out of my daily intake… but as a nurse, I know that’s to be expected.

I can’t really explain what I mean  by saying that I really feel “good” right now, but I know I don’t feel “bloated” in the belly anymore. I know the weight is still there.  I just don’t feel like a big ole bloated Oompa Loompa anymore. If it makes any sense, I never realized I felt that way… I guess it’s because I was so used to it.

I can’t wait to see what the next few months and years brings to me on this journey to health & wellness….Especially after something as simple as a cleanse and cutting a ‘couple things’ out of my diet.

*On a side note:  I will tell ya, being a “southern gal”, sweet iced tea is vice of mine. I did order one while out the other day… I was thinking “Heck yeah!”, stuck the straw in the lid and just sucked in that sweet tea like there was no tomorrow. Once I actually got the taste in my mouth, I actually became a little nauseous, as the tea was too sweet for me. I had to throw the rest of it out.  Score one for the healthy eating!  So I guess it doesn’t take that long for your tastes to change.  Since then I’ve been only had one [unsweetened] tea, and added a couple Splenda’s to it.

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So… Here’s the deal…

As embarrassing as it is to say, I went from a  size 6-8 to oh… anywhere from a 12-16  >_<   (Even when you’re thin, sizing for females totally sucks).  I’m decently proportioned, and  hide it pretty well when dressed “properly”, which sucks, because it’s taken me longer to admit to myself that I really need to make a change.

I can sit here and play the blame game all day long, but I  know my  obesity is all on me…  I’ve never been one for “numbers”  so, I’m guessing that I’ve gained about 10 pounds per year since 2007. That sounds much better than saying “50-pounds”, but it still doesn’t hide the cold, hard facts.

A couple of weeks ago, I was in deep thought about my life, my job, and the other random things that just pop up in the ‘ole noggin from time to time. I had some issues with a home treadmill that was on the fritz, and after shelling out about $500 it’s now in working order.. [[ YAY!! ]]  So I thought… Hmm.. as motivation, I can post all this stuff on Facebook or Tweet my progress, but think I’ll be more accountable to myself if I do this blog thing.

So, last week, as a “birthday present” to myself, for at least the upcoming year, I decided that I  will start posting my random thoughts, progress, recipes I like, quotes,  and (if I can figure it out) how to post motivational pictures that don’t take up the whole page… and other stuff that you may or may not be interested in.  I’m still “getting it together” so all of the sub-menus may not have things in there yet, but I’m working on it… If you have any healthy recipes, please feel free to submit them and I will post them to my page!

I’ll also be happy to answer questions that you might have about health or fitness related questions, but remember, responses are intended as suggestions to be considered for informational purposes only.

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